- For immediate release to all Xulborg Divisions -
It is with great loss and little emotion that we must announce we have called off the search for Thulsa_Xul. Some time ago he was sent on an exploratory surveillance mission to explore the Outer Rim sectors and return news and visual evidence of what was once considered a possible source of fatbroad mining developments. He had gone into deep space, beyond nebulas, beyond the pull of the black hole located in the middle of the KFC cluster, eventually landing his Exploratory Class Frigate "The Noma'am" within a cluster of worlds that had returned favorable readings. Alas, our final transmission from his fields reports was a garbled static mess in which one can barely make out the words. "THEY'RE... JUST... TOO... FAT.... SHE... CAME... FROM... BEHIND!!!". With much waiting there were no further transmissions from our fallen hero. We must assume at this point that the sexual deviance he encountered in these sectors was even too much for a Xulim. Thus, with eternal gratitude and pride, we remember our fallen hero.. Thulsa_Xul.
Memorial services will be held in the mess hall of NebulaCruiser Xul.