Thursday, 31 December 2009

Happy New Year?


Fukk you. Fukk 2010.

Death In June

Part 2 in Xul's Lessons on the Holy Trinity of Neofolk. Death In June can be argued as being the most important band of the style. As it was creator and visionary Douglas Pearce's guitar that played on the folk albums of the before mentioned Current 93. In addition to being the band that once contained future Sol Invictus head Tony Wakeford.
Such a tricky and deceptive beast is DIJ... Their sound beginning with Joy Division influenced post punk and developing into a band so recognizable that one can instantly identify a song by them within a few moments of listening. The writing may be one of formula, but it's a formula that has been tried and battle tested. Which is probably one the most hypnotic bands you will ever hear. The term magic has been being used here to describe a few incredible acts posted recently. Really, it's the only words that fits this band well. Complete and utter magic. Conceptually so fascinating, lyrically haunting and vocally hypnotizing, you get sucked into this World of Douglas' weaving. Politically ambiguous and allegorical, he is never one to come out directly with what he is saying. Thus leaving so much to the interpretation of the listener. The aesthetics are militant, part of fetish culture and his own personal lifestyle choices and interests.
Use your morality as you like, but you will never find a band quite like Death In June, period.
Let the music carry you where it will and let it wash over you. Begin with Disc-criminate as a compilation. Then the choices of eras... My personal recommendations are Rose Clouds of Holocaust.. But, What Ends When The Symbols Shatter?.. Nada!... Take Care and Control! and Burial to get your feet wet. Then if you like what you find, paint the rest of the picture as you see fit. Do investigate this band as they truly are something special in this World.


Xul is offering an incredibly large amount of material here. As Death In June has quite an extensive back catalog we will give you a little guide to the works here. Albums, singles / eps, live official and live bootlegs. As taken from wikipedia.


The Guilty Have No Pride(1983)
Burial (1984)
Nada! (1985)
The World That Summer (1986)
Brown Book (1987)
The Wall of Sacrifice (1989)
Ostenbraun (collaboration with Les Joyaux De La Princesse) (1989)
But, What Ends When the Symbols Shatter? (1992)
Rose Clouds of Holocaust (1995)
Death In June Presents: Occidental Martyr (1995)
Death In June Presents: Kapo! (1996)
Take Care and Control (1998)
Operation Hummingbird (2000)
All Pigs Must Die (2001)
The Rule of Thirds (2008)


Cathedral of Tears(1993)
Sun Dogs 1994)
Kameradschaft (1998)
Passion! Power!! Purge!!! (1998)


The Guilty Have No Paste (bootleg)
The Phoenix is Rising
Oh How We Laughed
Night and Fog
Only Europa Knows
Frankfurt Sound Depot
Something is Coming
Black Angel Live!
White Hand of Death (bootleg)
Zum Nussbaum (bootleg)


Lesson 1 Misanthropy
93 Dead Sunwheels
The Corn Years
The Cathedral of Tears
Free Tibet!
Abandon Tracks!

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Above The Ruins

This is the early project by Tony Wakeford who went on to do Sol Invictus. You can hear a lot of the foundations laid for what he would later do on the early albums of SI, only this was definitely a youthful album. Done after he left Death In June it keeps that same style really. Instantly noticeable for a Joy Division influence it does stand on its own and is a glimpse into the young mind of a man that would one day create magic.



More Greek black metal from the latter days of Unisound's glory era. This is one fast and ugly monster... Coming across much like a Greek answer to early Black Funeral or some of the Black Legions stuff. You should know what to expect from that description. Fast, reverb soaked screaming from the catacombs (or basement apartments). Well done for what it was. These guys never went anywhere with it though.


Ras Algethi

One of the most passionate doom albums to ever appear. This is right up there with Monumentum as far as its ability to portray that warmth of their region in the sound...
Warmth in doom? Yes... Not all is snow covered. Ras Algethi's charm is their ability to convey their world to you. The feeling of sitting in a public square and watching the people walk around in their daily lives as you feel completely detached from your human existence. Aliens, strangers... just insects in their hive. Your own existence being not that of a human being, but of a watcher of the World. The sight of the children laughing in the shadow of a ruined church.. The open market fruit sellers throwing away the rejections of their crop. The whores walking the street to lure in the tourists... The drunkards begging for money to get them through just one more night of existence. All the while you are completely detached from this existence, just watching the simple day unfold like its own breathing work of art. All in shades of gray from a sun that sets to send them all home to their lives, leaving the square an empty and beautiful place once the ugliness of life is removed from it. The ethereal plane is a release, and Ras Algethi touched it...



One of the overlooked doom bands in a rich tradition of the style. If you remember Unholy they definitely share kinship. An almost suffocating presence to that elegance of their depression. Ambience that builds with the reverberation coming and going as needed.. Creating the dynamics and tension needed to balance the thicker tones. Doom with a black metal specter lurking in the background for sure... Very overlooked by the metal community and it's a shame for it. These guys have something interesting going on.



A fairly obscure project here that reminds me quite a bit of a more ambient In Slaughter Natives at times... Which can only be a good thing. Ritualistic drumming carries a great deal of the material that builds over time. The album definitely picks up steam (or heroin clouds) as it goes on, so stick with it... it will eventually pull you in. Was originally limited to 476 copies.


Toadliquor- The Hortator's Lament

No one knows who the fuck Toadliquor are. No one gives a fuck. This is a sonic fist fight contained in the boundaries of what these tunes can offer. Take it in like you would hard drugs. Mainlined and with a grim smile on your face and a fierce outlook on life in your eyes. This isn't a pretty world and the gods never meant for you to have a beautiful life.

heroin for the spirit

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Current 93

The ultimate accomplishment of an artist is the ability to take their medium, tap into some force that gives a life of its own to their creation and as such, create magic.
Current 93 is a collaborative effort of incredible musicians and sonic manipulators lead by ringmaster David Tibet, who has been leading this charge since the late 70s. The project itself is almost impossible to describe and give justice to, but to attempt to sum it up... They began their work as an early industrial outfit experimenting with sounds, drones, tones and vocals that created some of the most haunting material ever recorded, period. But it wasn't just empty evil going on, as the occult studies of Tibet and co. were channeled into this sound with the spirit of Crowley (whom the name Current 93 is taken from) and others. As Tibet grew weary of this sound he began collaborating and experimenting with most of the World Serpent crew. This leading to the project's most prolific era. Experimental folk music became the new motif. This, with a few other artists also involved in this project, was essentially the rise of Apocalyptic Folk, or Neofolk. Troubadours at the party to celebrate man's accomplishments at the end of the world. With so many artists involved in Current 93 at this time (Death In June, Sol Invictus, Coil, Nurse With Wound to name just a few of many...) they produced some of their most celebrated and magical works. Philosophically all over the place as well... no stone lays unturned for Tibet and company. Their later efforts leading into modern day are the product of a man that is seriously looking more within himself and his books. Poetry over pianos, mild chamber music sets and spoken words... Then, to top it all off, the greatest mystery of them all. Releasing all albums as one, the sound of an entire catalog playing at the same time. (The Great In The Small). This is by no means an easy band to understand, nor should it. Magic is to be learned and studied... Current 93 is magic, and demands your time, patience and understanding to unfold its secrets. Start with releases like Thunder Perfect Mind, Earth Covers Earth and All the Pretty Little Horses for their neofolk era, then Swastikas for Noddy as an evolution between the folk and industrial. Dawn and Live at Bar Maldoror for their early industrial sounds. Emblems for a collective of hits and b-sides. Then everything else as it strikes your fancy to explore. Once you get through those treasures you will want to keep digging. Expect more to be added to this collective as well.


Christian Death

Goth... such a misunderstood music genre which unfortunately tends to get overlooked by so many just for the amusing appearances and antics of a fan base that usually know little, if anything, about the subculture they attach an identity to. As usual, Xul knows the score. Xul knows what caverns to find the real deal and this is it. One of the most vital goth albums, period. The early years of a young Rozz Williams still young and bright eyed in his controversial heroin loaded career The sound of young'ns banging away on their instruments in a punk influenced trip that would eventually result in a lengthy career that saw the band pulling their own Napalm Death. That's right, none of the people you see in Christian Death are from the original lineup. Due to various soap opera tales not worthy of Xul we won't discuss that, but know, this is the most legendary album of the group. In its original incarnation. By all means explore this one if even slightly interested in what real goth is.



Abhorer was one of the first extreme metal acts to come out of Asia. This feels like an essential release that everyone should be familiar with, but I can't think of a time when I've seen the band mentioned. Pure Unholy Deathrash straight out of Singapore that would make Sarcofago proud. This is a comp of demo material from the 80s, their EP, and their only full length. Check it out or get fukked.

Invoking Nana Sahib, Satyrical Goat of Mendes

The Night and the Fog

Back in the mid 90s when Satan was no longer evil enough, a few bands began shifting to the concept of National Socialist ideology. The traditional concepts of Satan and pentagrams were swapped out with Hitler and Swastikas. This either became a new shock to some, or a source of total comedy to others. Especially amusing since the stronghold of NS bands tends to be Eastern Europe of all places. One can rationalize that especially in Nations that were invaded by the Nazis that the use of their imagery would be an even more taboo subject matter there. Over time the focus of NS ideology has shifted to more traditional right wing approaches of National Pride, racial identity and having kids. Which when you think about it, basically has nothing to do with what the original concepts of black metal are about. The bands themselves realizing in general shifted to a more "pagan" sound which was more based on acoustic interludes and semi traditional folk music. Now getting to this compilation, The Night and the Fog was more or less the crown jewel of NS material, featuring a good deal of the older bands of the style. Note that track 16 is not Perunwit, but Kraina Bez Wiatru, who really do probably the most effective song on the entire release with its all acoustic tune. Xul offers this one up for the fans of music, not politics. Whine all you want about their beliefs, Xul does not care. It's just human behavior in our eyes, and we're not concerned with being human.



Some fukking dark industrial here... right up there on the level of someone like GLOD or a less militant In Slaughter Natives or even some input from Controlled Bleeding. What though do you expect from a group that names itself after the atomic formula for morphine?
If you really want to have some fun, take Terra Damnata and play it for someone that is easily frightened or overly sensitive on a lengthy nocturnal car ride. Watch them... you can literally see the possession taking effect. Ritualistic Industrial with no forgiveness. The 1692/2092 release is a soundtrack done for an obscure film. Not as dark as Terra Damnata but still very relevant. Not your club hit stuff at all.



A more or less completely forgotten and fairly obscure early Finnish black metal band...
Very second wave in approach (actually started in 1991!) , they managed to blend their style together in a sound that didn't quite clone anyone, but didn't quite stand out from the pack either. Probably due to their relative obscurity. Still they were one solid as fukk band in their delivery of speedy sections with synth backgrounds. Possibly one of the best bands of the style to ever come from Finland. But circumstances or maybe just interest didn't phase them in to the recognition they deserved. No idea if any of them went on to do other bands or not. But their name and memory will be spoken by the lips of Xul.



More old and quality lesser known Greek black metal. Like a lot of of Greek bands they contributed to the FUKK YOUR DRUMMER campaign and programmed it out. This is definitely demo quality, but quite good for that level. Everything flows fairly well in that normal Greek mid paced style... Only the riffs themselves tended to be much more epic in nature, once in a blue moon sounding like a riff Summoning might have used with their flowing nature. They also sound like a Hellenic answer to the French Black Legions at times as well. Make no mistake though, this is definitely a Greek black metal band and they wear their National influences on their sleeve. They released some more material after this, but honestly, this is all you need. They experimented themselves into uselessness pretty quickly.



Fairly umentioned band from Russia (by way of Kazakhstan) that did released a decent amount of material before a name change and went to parts unknown. This album though was an absolute gem. Really carries that early second wave Nordic sound and adds a suffocating atmosphere to it. If I said that this might be a Russian answer to In The Nightside Eclipse or Dark Medieval Times you might get the idea. It's not as classic as said album, but definitely has its heart in the right place. Fukking bravo.



This is more of a comedy post... Remember Alf from Grotesque, At The Gates and Liers In Wait? This is his solo band and is more or less what is wrong with sci fi metal. The second album Worlds and Worlds actually isn't too shabby... but man, there are some moments here so bad it's awesome. If the pic alone doesn't make you giggle then wait until you hear the music. Symphonic death metal computer aided stuff. This is one of those albums you break out rarely... But it might just grow on you, stranger things have happened. The first album "Fairytales" is a mess, Worlds and Worlds is decent and Sidereal Journey is one long concept album of hilarious pompousness. Have a goof.


Monday, 28 December 2009

Domain / Demonized

Mexican death metal has a charm to it.. Usually in that ugly production is found a more fanatical form of metal worship. Domain and Demonized were the same band basically (Domain later being Ravager) and released a split with themselves. (how novel). It's quality shit though.. a rapid fire death metal attack a bit in the Krisiun school of high speed chaos. Probably one of the more "brutal" offerings on Xul as far as death metal goes, but it definitely has its heart in the right place, as it carries a quality death metal atmosphere. Must be one hell of a treat to see people dying at some of their homeland gigs.


Imperator - The Time Before Time

Imperator sold their souls to satan way back in 1983, making them a pillar of Polands extreme metal scene. They fought the Polish militia in order to spawn this classic. It was originally slated to be released by Deathlike Silence, but some controversy happened and it wasn't meant to be. In the band's own words, "who the fuck remembers that and who the fuck cares? anyway.." When it finally got released it was on a Nameless label, got no promotion or distribution, and died there. But now here's a chance for you to hear a piece of metal history. This is a dirty storm of satanic Death Black Metal. Sit back in your pentagrams, and don't bother turning on The Rocket, it's time for The Time Before Time.


His Divine Grace

Minimalist ambient... the lush sounds of repetitive drones for over an hour. Completely introspective and drifting... drifting... drifting. They have quite a discography but Xul will focus on Reverse Aleph. There is a sadness to these drones, a feeling of emptiness and reflection. But like all great ambient it carries within it its own form of hope. Download and let go of all emotions and feeling to let this sweep you away in its current. Excellent work.


Dusk - The Darksoul's Scream

Apparently the darksoul wasn't screaming "THE 90S ARE OVER" because Dusk sure didn't get the message. This is something you would expect to hear from the mid 90s, not 2005. Pretty good mid paced black metal with some synth tossed in here and there a la Burzum. Kind of like if Poccolus had a Hungarian cousin that decided to ditch the folk elements and be more minimalistic.

Shrieky Deeky


The sounds of hell. Soundtrack to your most bizarre dreams and the party music of the cenobites. Endvra are an extremely dark sounding project in the ambient world. They claim that their music can be used as a gateway to other planes, and I have to admit... It very well might be. Something is darker than most others here, something you can't quite place your finger on... Nor would you likely want to. Awesome stuff.


Order From Chaos

American death metal usually gets pigeon holed into a few different categories. Florida, NY, TX, Gore, yada yada... But really, other than the innovators, who other than local scene kids really cares that band x sounds like a bad cover band of their heroes? Order From Chaos had something unique and special. An approach that no one before or since has really quite managed to figure out. Blackened for sure... they went on to influence so many other bands that also has something interesting to say. Xul gives you a treat here... The sound of occultism and warfare blasting you from all angles.



Awesome french bm band that wasn't focused on the more grim aspects of what French bm would later be known as. A bit melodic and mid paced in their approach they none the less had something different going on. Had an album out on Drakkar and some splits, demos, etc. We included the lp and the apparently very rare split with Nasav here. (which is probably their best material). They claimed to split up due to the "horror of members being in a hardcore band" which would be fukking hilarious if true. As opposed to the usual nonsense of musical differences and egos getting in the way. That or someone just fought over drugs in some hissy fit slap fest.
Oh yeah, after they split up some of them went on to form favorite kiddie band Deathspell Omega, but no one cares about them.



An old and long defunct USBM band that had a couple of demos and then basically compiled it for this release. A bit of an upbeat nature to their style despite some lyrics focused on suicide, depression, the usual bm fun of today other than Satan. The interesting thing about them was their unabashed love of punk.. and it showed in more ways than just their Naked Raygun and Misfits covers. The riffs and drums have that good uptempo chaotic nature that good punk provides and flows seamlessly when blended with black and thrash metal. Really a fantastic effort from a band that killed themselves way too early. Kind of a shame that this never went farther, but they kept it true to the end.



The art of the compilation is a tricky one to nail down. Most of the time they serve as a great intro for bands at their demo level to get some exposure or as early releases for labels trying to generate some interest in their offerings. Once in a generation though a compilation sneaks through that is so fukking classic and vital that it can practically define an era. Metal Massacre may have been notable for its early appearances by a young Metallica.. Wine of Satan for exposing some old black metal bands. But without a doubt the greatest compilation in metal history was Earache's Grindcrusher.
Most compilations have their studs and duds, but it's hard to compare with the track record of early talent that became legends here. Morbid Angel, Repulsion, Carcass, Godflesh, Carnage, Napalm Death, Entombed, Nocturnus, Bolt Thrower.. Then a tier below you had Terrorizer, Old Lady Drivers, Cadaver, Naked City, Hell Bastard, Unseen Terror, Lawnmower Deth, Heresy... For fukk sake how can this be denied as THE most important metal compilation of all time? While some bands floundered, others went on to define what death metal would be. The true mark of excellence from a label that used to be considered essential.


Fallen Christ

Lethal American death metal band from the 90s... A one and done band that really had something going here. Hyperspeed, evil as fukk and serious in style. Listenable snatched them up and put this lone album out. Definitely a kult release for sure that is still beloved in some circles.


Lux Occulta

Poland had an exciting scene going on during the explosion of the second wave of black metal.
Behemoth oddly became the most popular band to come out of it (after much stylistic change), yet back then, Lux Occulta were one of the most talked about bands. A bit more original in style with a bit of a introspective melodic and mid paced nature, they evolved quite a bit as they went on. By the time they reached their pinnacle of My Guardian Anger they were set to break out, only to be stifled by their own creativity. The follow up and final album The Mother and The Enemy was an experimental album done before its time, heavily written in moody jazz as a backdrop that was built upon. No one cared, they called it a day. A shame really, they had something special going. Start with My Guardian Anger, their most aggressive album.


Sunday, 27 December 2009

Devil Doll

One of the most unique, mysterious, confusing and outright mythological bands to appear in the rock / metal / progressive / gothic worlds, period. To sum this up with a few sentences does it no justice whatsoever. Definitely a project that nothing short of genius bordering on madness. That being probably the most true statement you will ever read on the project. More or less the vision of one man, "Mr Doctor", he composes the music in the spirit of old theater and horror and brings it to the rock world via a full orchestra backed with a rock band. But such injustice is brought with that simple description. This is a band that truly captures you, forces you to understand his world, his words and his mind. A frightening look into the face of true dementia. His voice carrying so many characters within it... The music unfolding its story with each passing moment, and with each moment, a new view into its world. While an artist like King Diamond is well known for his tale weaving in music, Mr Doctor is on an even higher plane of existence. Telling his stories over the length of a symphony instead of 4 minute snippets of metal...
Don't listen to this band under your normal music routines... they deserve so much more from you. This should be absorbed like a piece of art. Create an atmosphere to listen to it in... Dim the lights, light candles to create shadow play. Listen on headphones or a decent stereo. Above all, listen to these and then track down the albums. These need to be in your collection as vital treasures and crown jewels.
Included here are the five available works of Devil Doll. My words can do no justice to the magic of this act. Of all the postings on Xul Lessons that are considered essential, consider this to be a command.


Scorpion Wind

More or less the same major cast as Alarm Agents, this is the earlier work of the group done under the name of Scorpion Wind. Very similar in approach, as all DIJ works are, but such an amazing approach it is. Conceptually more focused on what Boyd was into at the time. Which was essentially esoteric studies and cultural education. Done around the time he founded The Abraxas Foundation.
Xul STRONGLY encourages you to give this a listen in low to no light, perhaps with a mild buzz going... weed, pills, or booze, pick your poison for Scorpion Wind.



Another old gem here, Mastiphal was one of the early second wave Polish bands before they more or less called it a day and went on to other projects. What you get here is a bit of a blend of a few styles. Polish bm, some occasional Greek stylings and even some Scandinavian influence all mish mashed into their own thing. This made for a pretty decent listen actually.. Despite more or less being overlooked in the international metal world. A catchy album from a band that had some potential, but just couldn't really get it going as they could have... Or maybe just no one cared.


Alarm Agents

Definitely not the usual Xul fare but a sure sign of some things to come in the near future.
Boyd rice of course being a champion of Hatesville and Death In June being an incredible artist in the neofolk genre that will be on Xul soon. The result is a relaxed approach to Xul. Instantly memorable, dark and reflective, Alarm Agents is the collaboration of two artists who have been featured on each others works for years. A continuation in some ways of the Scorpion Wind project, only from older men that for years have known how to ride the fence with conceptual ambiguity. Now with older knowledge and older experiences. A modern classic of the genre and something that the more adventurous Xul devotee should investigate.



Italy and the Mediterranean in general have that occult atmosphere that tends to saturate their black metal offerings. Necromass were dark as fukk with their first album, then decided to be actual musicians and lose a lot of that occult atmosphere in order to create a more contemporary mid paced approach to their black metal on their latter platter (Abyss Calls Life). Disappointing, but really, how could they top that aura of evil that was Mysteria Mystica Zothyriana? Xul throws up both of them, as a comparison to each other and for the fukk of it, since we have em' both handy. Compare the two for yourself. Also to be noted that MMZ was one of the earlier releases on Unisound records, who really had a niche of excellent occult themed releases for awhile.



Chuck Keller of Order From Chaos immediately jumped into Vulpecula as his full time project after the demise of his legendary earlier outfit.. Instead of the chaos of OFC he went into a different direction, spaced out black metal.. reverb soaked and a lot more focused on creating subtle atmospheres with the material. Definitely a lost gem in the USBM (even if it can be considered blackened death metal yada yada) circles, this was the release that mattered.



The other half of Fredrik Soderlund's solo metal side. Much like Parnassus in style, but less synth focused. As a result it becomes more guitar and riff oriented. (go figure?). Just as misanthropic towards the world and especially journalism in the later days (much like Puissance). Still generally a hyperspeed approach to black metal Fast and angry, how it should be. Overall he put out 3 albums with this project, which are all quality.


Master's Hammer

While Maniac Butcher may be the Kings of Czech black metal, Master's Hammer are the Gods that overlook them. Their history dating back to the early 80s, these guys were there for the formative years of what the genre would become. Only their approach was so out of left field that it would take years for their brilliance to catch on. Even then, only as a kult favorite band.
They're primarily known for their 3 albums, 2 being metal classics (Ritual and The Jilemnice Occultist) and the third being the ultimate "Fukk you" album... (Slagry).
Truly though, this band is one of those that thrives on being demented genius, not demented as in cruel, but in the sheer power of mind trickery going on. You never quite know what they've got up their sleeve, and you probably don't want to. You just want to see what tricks they pull out to show you, not everything they know. Osmose jumped on these guys in their early days, probably expected a lot more from them and when MH got tired of it all, they gave them Slagry, an album so confusing that it probably caused Herve to shit himself and realize he's not making any money on this gem... So off to Kron H it went. They recently reunited and we were nice enough to provide their new album as well. Plus their fairly rare tribute album, featuring a bunch of Czech bands as well. Bonus points for a guitarist named Necrocock.. Seriously, top that.


Nuclear Death

One of the few examples of women mattering in death metal. Nuclear Death being one old band that released some great hyperspeed death/grind in the 80s and 90s.. truly demented and ugly shit. Femme or not, this broad had one awesomely demented mind. Probably one of the best examples of someone's nightmares (or fantasies that sometimes rivaled Lovecraft) being written to paper... Find the lyrics where you can. As for the music, just ugly warp 666 material... You're in for a treat. These are the two compiled cds put out on Extremist records in the early 2000s.



One of the two black metal faces of Fredrik Soderlund of Puissance fame. Octinomos being the other. Basically the two projects are alike in style and delivery, the main difference being Parnassus was the band that focused more on synth backgrounds. I can see some retrospective types calling this an influence on industrial black metal's development due to the use of the drum machine, but that's a bit of a stretch. The message was quite direct though, a black metal directed message of the early Puissance concept.


Nektar - Journey to the Centre of the Eye

I figure since everyone is either high or drunk for the holidays, now is a good time to post this. Chances are good that it will bore you into suicide. This album is akin to drifting through a blue nebula while your cheap 1970s sci-fi production spaceship console flashes its pointless lights at you. 13 tracks that all tie into one long journey into madness, depression, and brain death. This is a chasm of psychedelic space rock that shouldn't be passed over.

The Astronauts Nightmare

Friday, 25 December 2009

Holidays with the Xulim

So what do a bunch of degenerate asshole dirtbags give each other for a NO FUKKING CHRISTMAS campaign? Pure shit. Here it goes.

Kermadec - A years supply of Anadrol and Arimidex

Belum - A miscarriage and a new woman that doesn't get pregnant.

Nihilus - Enough LSD to make him find a skinny woman that doesn't cook attractive.

Thulsa - A subscription to Ebony magazine.

Namru - An underage whore that loves to eat man-ass.

Algol - Bassem's head in a box.

NAMRU_XUL: Upon my death you will get christmass presents. Here is your doom.

Thulsa = We will be rockin' in the great Xul in the sky.

Tractus =, that's all you need, buddy.

Nihilus = I leave my entire Nazgul's Eyrie/Barbarian Wrath collection. Use sparingly then sell when it's worth something.

Algol = I promise 666 hauntings where we finally get to get fukked up and kick some ass musically.

Belum = I leave a coat hanger. Use it "when the time comes". I hear human meat goes for some cash, just a thought.


Algol - 1 keg of Swamp Ass Ale, brewed with gator piss, crawdad sex organs, half rotted barley and demonized yeast grown in the twat of a negress that once had a threesome with Robert Johnson and Blind Melon Chitlin'.

Belum - Xul Jugend uniforms for the Accidents. A 5 year supply of Prozium for the first few years of awkwardness and neighborhood class wars... and a gift pack of assorted Paki Jerky for the dog.

Kermadec - The gravitational pull of a planet so that entry into the atmosphere will turn his frozen floating space junk of a corpse into a pile of scattered ash that hopefully diseases some local population and causes a mass planetary extinction.

Namru - A crate each of Taurino and muscle relaxers to go with the Big Mexican Wife that will be forced to suck the piss out of his bladder whenever he demands it, and cook and clean.

Thulsa - In memory of his death we will scrape up the blood we found and synthesize it into either a new form of BBQ sauce or a perfume to be sold to fatbroads everywhere. Either way women won't be able to resist the flavor of it... and that includes the perfume too. Chicken, ribs or each other, things are getting eaten.

Tractus - A codpiece made from the skull of Lou Ferrigno, which will dispense steroids like PEZ candy. Will also have a decorative Manowar logo on it, just to be tasteful.

Kermadec-A pair of balls to strike back at the she devil cracking the whip on your back.

Belum- A pack of Caucasian sheperds to devour your unwanted.

Namru- A bloated Ricki Lake, a bottle of Smirnoff and a bag of Fritos to lure her into the sack.

Thulsa- Honorary white mans status for facing the danger no normal darky would.

Tractus- Marty McFly's hoverboard.

Nihilus- A Margaritaville beverag
e dispenser


First, to all the Xulin, leather "XUL" waistcoats.

Nihilus - A years supply of cheap hookers that cook Mexican food. The Pedophiles guide to dating and dining.

Tractus - A signed edition of Pumping Iron, and a fat mute mom, AFF membership for life.

Algol - Bassem for a day.

Namru - Some quiet time with Tyr.

Guitar Wolf

Japan's greatest offering of supercharged punk hell. This just bleeds cooler than you attitude...
No teenage jerking off on your couch with some power chords nonsense, no politics... nothing but rockabilly influenced super kill. The Cramps must have toured Japan and shot their seed all over their geisha moms, causing them to grow up rapidfire godzilla nuclear ultra number 1 style. The little monsters embraced their instruments, named themselves after them and then began destroying everything in sight.