Monday, 16 November 2009

GWAR / Job For A Cowboy / The Red Chord

Gwar, live in San Diego. November 15th 2009 at the House of Blues. This isn't a picture from it because I don't bother taking cameras into these things. So I just plunder the work of others for a reference pic above. Anyhow, doors opened at 6:30, which meant I wasn't showing up til 9 and hopefully missing the opening bands. Unfortunately I walked in for the last two songs of Job For a Cowboy and got some gay STD just from hearing their breakdown laden useless attempt at death metal. They seem proud to be from Phoenix, Arizona, which they announced as often as they could... A typical song going something like this.. "Pointless screaming and semi blast, breakdown... breakdown, more breakdowns, "WE'RE JFAC AND WE'RE FROM PHOENIX, ARIZONA, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHOWING UP TO SEE US AND I HOPE ALL YOU BLONDE, THIN, CIRCUMCISED, DISEASE FREE TEENAGE BOYS COME SEE US AFTER THE SHOW FOR SOME HANDS ON AUTOGRAPH SESSIONS!", breakdown, breakdown, blast, breakdown , song over. Repeat.

Then the wait, that agonizing wait as GWAR sits backstage while the roadies set up. Kids kept walking by me nervously as I kept farting out the prior night's dinner of kraut and sausage. I began realizing, that being the 4th time seeing Gwar, it was the first time seeing them sober.
But those are the breaks and driving around downtown San Diego with a face full of gwar juice and a blood alcohol content over .08 is a difficult thing to explain your way out of when you get pulled over by the fuzz for soliciting snaggle toothed crackheads for discount rim jobs. Xul don't deal with lock up.
A lot of young'ns were at the gig, which I suppose is a healthy thing, as their disposable income is probably what keeps most bands going these days. I sure as hell didn't pay for my ticket, so some people had to. Some came by offering me a piece of gum which was obviously LSD laden. I've had my experience with Gwar and hallucinogens, highly recommended, but that wasn't my buzz tonight. Some fellow old fukk summed it all up perfectly. "Gwar is metal's version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show", bravo.

They opened up with a 10 min video spoofing a band rise and fall documentary, the usual nonsense. Crack, perversion and murder.. the stuff dreams are made of. Then the music kicks in, and for the life of me I can't remember what the fukk the song list was. They bring out a pretty killer assortment of murder victims though, including the return of Cardinal Syn, who I hadn't seen live. A gray faced Michael Jackson came out for a baby raping session before getting his face ripped off. Zog came out as a homeless guy squeegeeing Oderus before getting torn apart. Obama got his head ripped off, again. The music live is more focused on the crowd, less of their silliness from the mid era and more to the headbanging tunes. Some of the old classics like Maggots and Have You Seen Me? are still in rotation, along with show closer Sick of You. A few tunes were pimping the new album, of course. Some others from the more recent ones that I still can't recognize for shit because I am one of those fair weather fans that loved their early days, disappeared during their mid era and have come back around for these days even though I have the discography plundered and don't listen to it as much as I should because blah blah blah blah. This was a nice and violent crowd... kids came running out of there with real and fake blood mixed, girls were picked up and thrown all over the place.. Security had looks of disbelief and rethinking their career choices as one crowd surfing kid after another was thrown at them. Really though, how do you sum Gwar live up? Either you see them and understand what the big deal is all about, or you don't and stick to nitpicking from afar. Oderus himself pretty much made the best points for it... "25 YEARS OF GWAR, NOW THINK ABOUT HOW MANY BANDS HAVE COME AND SUCKED SINCE THEN!" "THERE ARE ONLY 3 BANDS THAT RULE, GWAR, SLAYER AND MOTORHEAD" "METALLICA... WHAT THE FUKK HAPPENED?! NO, SERIOUSLY... WHAT THE FUKK HAPPENED?!".

Big thanks to Brian at for hooking me up with the free tickets.

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