Sunday, 20 September 2009


This is probably the worst gig I've been to.

Ghast claim to play down-tempo Black Metal influenced by "Northern Doom"...What?

What I heard was a very tired, uninspired set of toilet. It dragged on and on and on, with no real highlight or climax to any song, just a boring wave of gunk.

Daemonolith....five people on stage, five people failing to produce what they claim is "True Black Metal"...They made the biggest mistake of the night, whilst I was losing myself to the DJ playing Gypsy covered by Emperor, they thought it would be a good idea to ruin this by sound checking..So a quick prayer to Xul and hey presto, their music turned into dull(again uninspired) recycled garbage which might have sounded OK if I was gay and dead.

I boo'ed them.

Onto Permafrost who I was looking forward to seeing, them being slightly demented(Which helped the nights events)....I noticed something strange straight away....I didn't pay too much attention to it, but it seemed to me that the vocalist changed during the 1st or 2nd song, I wasn't paying too much attention as there was some trollish man talking to me and trying to destroy my face with his dung-breath, all trolls must have naturally shitty smelling breath, which is fine by me, just not whilst I'm feeding beer down my throat as it will most likely make me gag, which it did.
So I thought OK Permafrost are being silly and German, the right vocalist was on now, bandaging up his bicep, he had a few bandages on, which I thought to be his stage get up, as they were all sporting 'half corpse-paint' someone forgot to bring the white paint it would appear.
So I walked out for a cigarette and started talking to some cougar when all of a sudden the whole of Permafrost come bundling out of the doors and start screaming for an would appear the vocalist didn't practice "Safe Self Harm" and was bleeding all over the place..I hope he died.
So upon going back in, there was a mish mash of morons on stage playing bullshit and behold Dimmu Borgir playing over the speakers! Oh this was such a good night!
Troll guy is now telling me that when he sees people with shaved heads like myself, he thinks of Nazi's, which was fine by me, as when I see fat middle aged men with shit-breath I tend to think "Cunt".
Besatt take to the stage, and jump into what must have been one of their more modern songs, because it flowed past me without even noticing...they then played Baphomet from Hellstorm, which wasn't a terrible album, until I changed my mind and said, yes this is terrible, I'm going to leave and get a kebab.
Which myself and friend did.
It was spectacular, the chilli sauce was excellent, and I felt almost reluctant to return, but I did...Some fat kid with his dads beard on was very excited about the prospect of being at the gig that Permafrost nearly "died" or did, who cares, I haven't got time for Dead Mark II, not unless he's going to blow his brains out.
Besatt rolled on, I dreamed of darker days and it was over. During this whole evening, I tried taking a shit in a tissue covered hand several times in order to create art in the restrooms, but nothing happened, all I got was a brown/yellow stained tissue. Sums up the gig really, BROWN/YELLOW STAINED, AND TOILET.

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